Charlotte's Super Adventure

A Bachelorette Party of Sorts

I think you all would consider me MIA again, but well, yes, but for a very good reason.

The last you heard of me I was at a Chinese restaurant with the best buddies a girl could have (include Sadie in that group as she she scooted past us before the main event. I think she had a late date to go see the new Tom Hanks movie, not sure, but the name "Irving Weinberg" may have been mentioned ...) Gotta love our Sadie.

So you know about Christmas Eve, and the next day, being Christmas Day, I did see my family, briefly. Yup, the whole family, even John the Jerk showed up, though I traveled from Preppy's East side abode, after waking up with my personal elf. Since his closest family was pretty busy that day, he drove me out to Long Island. Yes, he keeps a car in the city. For the record, you know someone in Manhattan has Serious money when they garage a car they almost never use. Who knew?

Long story short, Preppy won over my whole family, except John, with his charm, his manners and his smile. Personally, I think he could have been a Hot Dog Vendor and my Mom would have been almost as thrilled, finally having some tangible proof that I'm not Gay and Frances Bennet is the world's worst Yenta.

Big Brother John spent most of the dinner regaling everyone with tales of his travels, but when the topic of romance came up, suddenly he wasn't talking. I have to remember to tell Liz, she made quite an impact on John at the Gala when she blew him off for Darcy. Somehow, I don't think she'll even care!

Well, the day after Christmas Jane, Liz, and I, still on for the Vegas trip, attempted to pull ourselves from our respective boos to depart for Jane’s bachelorette party, as originally planned. After all the mayhem, we were excited for drunken, salacious behavior – the type that only happens in Vegas

We planned on asking Caroline, which was obligatory since she is Charlie’s sister after all, to join us but the fates were kind. After trying to reach her in all the usual ways, it was Darcy who figured out the last time Dear Caro had been seen was the previous Saturday, leaving the West End Cave with a 22 yr. old probie, who called in that night to ask for extended leave. No one said a word.

Jane and Lizzy's sister, Mary, took off Christmas Eve for Spain and my brother John said something about leaving Christmas night for Barcelona. I really don't want to think there's a connection. If it had to be another Bennet, you'd think he'd try Lydia next if he was looking for a sure thing. No matter, Mary, having survived Frances and Billy Collins, has obviously grown a set of balls to rival those huge Christmas ones sitting in Rockefeller Center. She’ll be fine.

Apparently, our men just couldn’t stand the thought of us out there, in Vegas, all by ourselves. Bachelorette party turned into a coed couples weekend, three couples actually. A little pre-honeymoon to mend some fences for one couple, a break down the fences for another, and let's just say couple number three, you guessed it, we jumped our fences.

It's amazing what a lot of money can buy on short notice in Las Vegas. Even at the Venetian, a three master bedroom penthouse suite can be found last minute for a billionaire, a millionaire and a very successful lawyer. Charlie even arranged for a private jet to do transport. Talk about lifestyles of the rich and not so famous.

Preppy and I had grandiose plans. We were going to paint the town: the shows, the casinos, the Uber-chic restaurants and we scoped it all out on the flight. Problem was, once we all checked in, Darcy and Liz left us to refresh themselves in their room and they weren't seen again for hours at a time. Room service was apparently their main connection to the outside world. BTW, they ordered a lot of pancakes. Jane requested a list of All-you-can-Eat buffets from the concierge and those two took off for places best unknown.

And that left Us. The daring duo. Afternoon in the casino and the Cirque du Soleil show, then dinner at Le Cirque, coz it made us laugh to be so international. Nighttime, daytime, another casino, and then another and lots of cocktails all along the way. Well, Preppy got lucky ... at the tables I mean, not the kitchen counter this time, so he scooped up his winnings, turned to me and said, "The sky's the limit Punky. What can I do to make you happy?"

Feeling no pain by this point, I told him I wouldn't feel like I'd done Vegas till I'd at least seen one Elvis impersonator, so off we went on a search down the strip. Well, friends, it appears that the best place to find Elvis is .... Wait for It .... A Wedding Chapel.

Yup. With a lot of alcohol and very little thought, Preppy dropped to his knees as we exited the limo in the all-night Elvis chapel parking lot. I figured this was too good a hoot to pass up, blurted out "You Betcha!" and the deed was done. No fancy ring, no pre-nup from Mr. NYC divorce, he in khakis and me in a Cher Lives T-shirt. We said very standard, very traditional vows, all orchestrated by a man in a white leather jumpsuit and an IPod Audio system. I figured it couldn't be legal, and the morning after when I told Preppy not to worry, we'd just sign some kind of annulment, he opened the night table drawer and presented me with a 2 1/2 carat engagement ring he'd bought last week at Tiffany's.

I know, I know. So routine, so traditional, right? Well damn it, I love that ring and I love this guy. But you know we had to at least do something to shake tradition. So we kind of made our own contract.

I won't say where we put them, but we got matching tattoos. I do know, if he ever strips down to the buff with someone else, besides me, she may want to ask him whatever possessed him to declare his love of Jane Austen in such a dedicated, permanent manner.

Here it is:

Well, kiddos - Here's my song.  In honor of our unexpected adventure and the King who made it happen:  "What'd I Say" from 'Viva Las Vegas'

Link on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVllXheFLnc

And because the King seems to know what Lizzy and Darcy have been through, they deserve a song so very well suited for them.  Ya' know - we might consider Elvis another matchmaker in our little tale of dating, huh.

Link on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6fH02JqpDE

Since you won't be seeing us at Jane and Charlie's wedding coz P&P will still be shagging round the clock as 

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Fitzwilliam

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!